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"Bible" is the fourth episode of the B Series of QI and the 16th episode overall. It was first broadcast on BBC Two on 29 October 2004. It featured the first appearances of Jeremy Clarkson and Barry Cryer.

Scores[]

Numbers in brackets mark appearances - e.g. "(2)" means "(second appearance)".

  1. Jeremy Clarkson (1): 5 points
  2. Jeremy Hardy (4): 3 points
  3. Barry Cryer (1): -6 points (joint last)
  4. Alan Davies (16): -6 points (joint last)

Subjects[]

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  • There are only 15 professional ventriloquists left in Britain. Ventriloquist means "stomach talker". There are 280,000 heroin and crack addicts in Britain, 50,000 practitioners of alternative medicine, 75,000 people are in prison and 10,000 practising druids.
  • A Birmingham screwdriver is slang for a hammer.[1]
  • The Kingdom of Bhutan, having little television and no cars, has the least use for Jeremy Clarkson. Television was only placed in Bhutan in 1999 and parking fees were recently introduced, although it has no traffic lights. Most people in Bhutan live 1 day away from a road and only 0.01% are on the Internet. The domain name for Bhutan is .bt. There are only 6,000 telephones in Bhutan, but they were only brought into Bhutan in 1980.
  • According to the book of Leviticus, Jews are permitted to eat grasshoppers but not cuckoos, ferrets or camels.
  • Leaders of Russia have alternated between being hairy and bald since Alexander III in 1881. The sequence goes Alexander III (bald) – Nicholas II (hairy) – Lenin (bald) – Stalin (hairy) – Khrushchev (bald) – Brezhnev (hairy) – Andropov (bald) – Chernenko (hairy) – Gorbachev (bald) – Yeltsin (hairy) – Putin (bald). (Following the broadcast of this episode, the trend has continued with Dmitry Medvedev (hairy), then returning to Putin (bald).)

General Ignorance[]

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  • The English Civil War resulted in the highest proportion of British soldiers dying, as all the people fighting were British. (85,000 on the battlefield, another 100,000 of wounds subsequently – 10% of the adult population) The Irish population was halved by Cromwell.
  • Less than 0.02% of the Earth is water.[2] Seven-tenths of the Earth is covered in water. Earth can also go into the Eye on Jupiter.
  • Andy Warhol always wore green underwear. The only funeral he went to was his own and he didn't dance.
  • Robert Burns never wore a kilt, since kilt-wearing was illegal in the 18th century, mainly because of the Jacobite Rebellion. He was never referred to as "Robbie" or "Rabby" Burns, but sometimes "Rab".

Forfeits[]

  1. Drink
  2. Two-thirds
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