"Biscuits" is the seventh episode of the B Series of QI and the 19th episode overall. It was first broadcast on BBC Two on 19 November 2004. It featured Dara Ó Briain and Arthur Smith making their first appearances.

The episode was won by Dara Ó Briain, but he gained points by incorrectly claiming the triple point of water was 0 °C. His mistake was pointed out on "Combusion", where he got a forfeit for his answer; the true triple point of water is 0.01 °C.


Numbers in brackets mark appearances - e.g. "(2)" means "(second appearance)".

  1. Dara Ó Briain (1): 4 points
  2. Rich Hall (6): 2 points
  3. Arthur Smith (1): -18 points
  4. Alan Davies (13): -20 points


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  • If someone said that the British Empire was built on diarrhoea, they'd be talking rubbish due to the low incidence of diarrhoea during the reign of the British Empire. They were the first imperial power to overcome diarrhea. Pringle managed to sort it for the army and Lind managed to solve it for the Royal Navy. They originally thought that if anything smelt bad it shouldn't be consumed. Lind also suggested that the Navy eat lemons to combat scurvy. Since every place that had lemons hated Britain, they got limes from the Caribbean. Unfortunately, limes were only half as effective.
  • Ballet is illegal in Turkmenistan, which is odd as Turkmenistan used to be part of the Soviet Union.
  • Digestive biscuits aren't an aid to digestion. Digestives were called digestive because they were said to be anti-flatulent. In America, it's illegal to call them digestives. The word cookie is derived from the Dutch word Koekje, meaning a cake. The Americans also have a savoury snack called biscuits and gravy. 450 digestive biscuits are made every second in the UK.
  • The difference between a cake and a biscuit is that when they go stale, a cake goes hard and a biscuit goes soft. A Jaffa Cake is a cake, despite many people thinking it's a biscuit. It was proven because in 1991, Her Majesty's Customs and Excise decided to re-classify the Jaffa Cake as a biscuit, but VAT was added to chocolate-covered biscuits as a luxury item. So, McVitie's baked a 12-inch (300 mm) one and proved that when it went stale, it was hard, so it was a cake.
  • Straight roads were invented in the Iron Age.[1] However, the Romans can rightly claim to have made longer road networks. Another proof that roads weren't invented by the Romans, was that there were many straight roads in Ireland, which was never invaded by the Romans.

General IgnoranceEdit

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  • A group of baboons is called a congress. A replacement word, a "flange", originates from the sketch Gerald the Gorilla, on "Not the Nine O'Clock News".
  • Aardvarks[2] have the most bones in their noses, they have nine or ten. Elephants don't have any.
  • According to Anders Celsius, the boiling point of water is 0 °C.[3] He decided that water should boil at 0 °C and that ice should melt at 100 °C.
  • What did Mussolini do?[4] – The only train he made run on time was one carrying himself from Milan to Rome so he could become Prime Minister. All other improvements in the Italian transport system happened before he came to power.
  • Which eye did Nelson wear his eyepatch on?[5] – He never wore one, he only wore an eyepatch in Ladybird Books.


  1. Romans
  2. Elephants
  3. 100 Degrees
  4. Made trains run on time
  5. Right
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