"Constellations" is the seventh episode of the C Series of QI and the 31st episode overall. It was first broadcast on BBC Two on 11 November 2005. It featured no new panellists. The episode was preceded by "Cockneys" and followed by "Corby".


Numbers in brackets mark appearances - e.g. "(2)" means "(second appearance)".

  1. Jeremy Clarkson (3): 5 points
  2. Sean Lock (8): 3 points
  3. Rich Hall (12): 2 points
  4. Alan Davies (31): -18 points


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  • It would take around an hour to drive to Outer space, as it is 62 miles (100 km) above the Earth's atmosphere.
  • The smallest recorded dog in the world was a Yorkshire Terrier that was 2.5 inches high and 3¾ inches long and weighed 4 ounces.
  • Chihuahua Cheese is a popular roasting (Asadero) cheese from the Mexican state of Chihuahua.
  • Flint is made of quartz from sponges.
  • The only survivor of the Crimean War is a naval tortoise called Timothy the Tortoise. It was born fourteen years before the war started in 1853 and died in 2004 and was the ship's mascot of the naval ship HMS Queen during the first bombardment of Sebastopol. The reason why it was the only survivor of the Crimean War was that the war between the United Kingdom and Russia only officially ended in 1966. This was because Berwick-upon-Tweed was officially rendered part of the British Empire, but not part of England or Scotland. Berwick-upon-Tweed was formally announced to be at war with the Russian Empire in 1853, but not included in the peace declaration in 1856, meaning that it was still at war until 1966. Since everyone who had "fought" in the war had died by 1966 except for the tortoise, it is recognised as the only survivor of the Crimean War.

General IgnoranceEdit

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  • A luffa comes from the ground,[1] because it's a plant that you can grow.
  • The Ford Model T was available in grey, red or Brewster green.[2][3] In Manchester, you could only get them in blue. They were only available in black after 1913. There is no evidence that Henry Ford said that you could get them in any colour so long as it's black.
  • The Gatso Camera was invented by Maurice Gatsonides to monitor the speed of a car so he could find a way to make a car go faster around corners.[4]
  • Samuel Pepys buried a piece of Parmesan cheese[5] in his garden during the Great Fire of London.


Each panellist was given a picture of stars that formed a constellation, and asked to draw the constellation.

  • Jeremy Clarkson: drew an old woman's head; Sagittarius was the actual constellation.
  • Alan Davies: drew a smiley face; actual constellation was Cancer.
  • Rich Hall: claimed to draw "George Foreman delivering a powerful right-handed shot to the head of a parakeet"; Taurus.
  • Sean Lock: train; Aries.


  1. The sea
  2. Black
  3. Any colour so long as it's black
  4. To raise money for the government
  5. Diary
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